8:19 PM Retrieve Conscience of Doctor in God’s Word |
By Jinqi
I’m a doctor with a clinic in my village. One time, when I chatted with other villagers, several of them said to me, “You guys who open a clinic must be rich. See, the persons in your trade all have buildings and cars as well as fine foods and fine clothes.” Listening to their words, my heart turned sour, thinking: The money I earn can only support my families’ living and the house we live in is still an old one. Both are doctors who have a clinic, yet why can they make a fortune but can’t I? I must come up with a way to live as rich a life as theirs.
 A Heart Blinded by Money
Shortly after that, I was able to learn from my classmates some tricks of earning money. Since I profited much less from the medicine my patients bought, I was pondering how to make them have more injections and then cash in. With this practice for some time, my income was three times what I had earned within the same period. Seeing the easy-earned money, I more recognized this means of making money. In addition to often using the same speech to induce my patients to receive intravenous fluids, I also cheated at the dose to prolong their treatment and increase their injections. In this way, I earned even more. When my daughter preached the gospel to me, I just said “I believe,” while in my heart, I didn’t take the belief in God seriously. My attending meetings and reading God’s words were merely going through motions. For the sake of making more money, I was busying myself among my patients every day.
One day, a patient who caught a minor cough came asking me to see her. I gave her injections, which was my usual practice. Because of the insufficient dose of medicine, her condition wasn’t better and she went to see doctors in the city hospital. Afterward, news came that her cough had turned to pneumonia. Knowing about it, I was much remorseful: She may not get pneumonia if I had made up the medicine according to her illness. Alas, the money was earned against my conscience. However, a fit of my sadness was followed by much more worries: Will she tell other villagers that my medical skill is bad, or that I treated her with the phony medicine? In that case, my business will be affected. During the four days of her hospitalization, my heart was flying into my mouth and not until she came back healthily was my heart finally released.
Reflecting in Torment
Later on, my medical counterparts, Mr. Huang, Mr. Li, and Mr. Zhang, got trapped in medical incidents one after another. Mrs. Huang was delivering a baby when the woman in labor hemorrhaged. But in order to earn the fees, she didn’t send the woman to a hospital. As a result, both mother and child died. After the accident, she fled to another place to escape the blame from the woman’s families. Occurrences like this made my heart enormously uneasy. As the proverb says, “The heaven is watching what man is doing.” Moreover, I, a believer in God, still did wicked deeds for the sake of earning money. Would medical incidents also happen in my clinic? In spite of these worries, upon thinking of “You will have everything if you have money,” I was reluctant to give up earning the money within my reach. So I still tried getting money from my patients by various means each day. But after doing like this, I was darker and darker in my heart. And I always had an unknown sense of panic, which made me unable to eat and sleep well. The longtime depression and toil caused me to feel faint for my brain’s blood supply wasn’t enough. Besides, I gradually had chronic gastroenteritis, frozen shoulder, cervical spondylosis, bone hyperplasia, and so on. The depression in spirit and the torment from my illness left me in unspeakable pain. In the still of the night, I had to reflect: Why am I living in such great pain, and feeling so dark in spirit? Can it be that I have done many wrongdoings?
A Road Emerging From God’s Words
At the time, God reminded me that when an illness came upon me, I should not only seek for treatment, but also I should pray to God and examine myself through brothers and sisters. And they read to me a passage of God’s words: “My work is the work of saving people’s souls. If your soul falls into Satan’s hands, then your body will not have peaceful days. If I am protecting your body, then your soul will surely be under My care. If I really loathe you, then your body and soul will immediately fall into Satan’s hands. Can you imagine what your situation will be like then?” (“A Very Serious Problem: Betrayal (2)”). Comparing myself with God’s words, I thought: Although I believe in God, I never tried conducting myself according to God’s requirements. Instead, I stooped to telling lies and cheating people every day, for profit. No wonder I feel panicky and uneasy, and that my flesh suffered unceasing pain. All this is because after my actions were detested by God, I have lost God’s care and protection, thus living under Satan’s domain and fooled and afflicted by Satan. I also understood: These illnesses are the torments of Satan, but are out of God’s permission. God is unwilling to see me continually afflicted by Satan, much less see me fall into His punishment, so He wants me to come before Him to repent and change. Having understood God’s intent, I prayed tearfully to God, “O God! I know I’m in the wrong. I’m willing to restart to be the one You like.” After praying, I was much peaceful and assured in my heart. And I told myself silently: I must practice God’s words in my daily life, letting God’s words be the guide for my conduct.
The Choice Made Before Interests
Although I had the resolution to practice the truth, yet in practical life, I still couldn’t triumph over temptations easily. One time, the granddaughter of a villager Mrs. Yang had gynecological inflammation because her condition still didn’t turn better after she had taken half of the eight-hundred-yuan Chinese medicine bought in the city hospital. Then they came to me to seek treatment. After I examined her condition, I found it wasn’t very serious and so it could be cured only with some prescribed medicine. But another thought crossed my mind: If I just prescribe some medicine for her, I can only earn little money from the medicine. Since she hasn’t been cured by the city hospital after spending a fortune, then how can I cure her without earning any money? Let me go back to the old practice: giving her IV drips for several days first. So, I put her on a drip for two days. However, during those two days, I felt insecure with my conscience accused all the way: You are a believer in God; how can you act unscrupulously by any means possible like before? At night, I examined my own behavior and saw God’s words saying: “Those who genuinely believe in God are those who are willing to put God’s word into practice, and they are those who are willing to practice the truth. Those who can genuinely stand witness for God are also those who are willing to put His word into practice, and they are those who can genuinely stand on the side of the truth. Those who employ trickery and who do injustice are all people who have no truth and they all bring shame on God” (“A Warning to Those Who Do Not Practice the Truth”). These words struck my numbed spirit and made me see that, although I believed in God, I aimed not to live out like a human to satisfy God’s will, but all the way to earn money by doing unrighteousness and employing trickery and deception. What I lived out was Satan. How could I, who was deeply corrupted and incorrigibly obstinate, worthy of being the follower of God? God had set up one environment after another to make me turn back to Him, and He used His words to enlighten and guide me—all this was to lead me to the right path, and to rid me of Satan’s bondage. However, carried away by money, I swore oaths to God and then betrayed them, without the slightest understanding of God’s kind intention of saving me. What I did was refusing God’s salvation and running to Satan’s snare. I couldn’t sadden and fail God again. I should definitely face God to pursue to be straightforward when speaking and doing things and to treat others sincerely.
On the third day, Mrs. Yang came with her granddaughter to go on the IV drips. I told her that her granddaughter needn’t drips anymore, and that just a little prescribed medicine would work. Another several days passed and Mrs. Yang came to my house to thank me, “My granddaughter’s illness is cured. Truly thank you! Please receive the remaining medicine we bought from the city hospital. You can sell it for some money.” Hearing her words, my heart was bright, feeling a sense of ease and release. I smiled to her, saying, “Nothing is more important than her recovery. I won’t accept the medicine.” She said, “You are really a good person!” I started to think: I’m good? No. It’s God that is good! This experience introduced me to the sweetness of practicing God’s words. Thinking back to my painful journey of trying every possible means to earn money, I couldn’t help reflecting: Why is it that I’m so easy and happy after practicing God’s words, but was so torn between the practice of truth and the pursuit of money and interests?
Later on, I consciously practiced according to God’s words when I treated my patients. And never did I rack my brains to profit from them. One time, a girl in a neighboring village had a serious case of ringworm on her face, which was as large as an egg. Her parents had taken her around to see doctors, but she still wasn’t cured with a lot of money spent. After I prescribed some medicine worthy of several yuan for her, she took it and was cured. Although I lost a good chance of earning money, yet my heart was greatly comforted. I felt it so secure and peaceful to have lived by God’s words.
 I Made A Choice After Being Wronged in Practice of the Truth
Right when I was tasting the pleasure of stepping onto the bright way, an unexpected thing happened …
One day, four villagers catching a cold asked me to inject them with intravenous drips. I didn’t obey them but prescribed some pills for them because their cold wasn’t that serious. Unexpectedly, they wrongly believed that I didn’t want to give them IV drips, so I used several pills to fool them. Thus, they reported this matter to the village secretary and the village head. These two came to my house and questioned me loudly, “What’s the matter with you? They are ill; why didn’t you gave them intravenous fluids but just prescribed a few pills to cheat them?” Hearing their words, I had a sour taste in my heart and wanted to defend for myself. But when I thought that I had a clear conscience about what I did, I said to them, “If their conditions require a drip, I will give them a drip; otherwise, I won’t. I treat my patients according to their conditions.” After hearing me say so, they left. But after they left, I felt very bad in my heart, at the thought that they didn’t praise me for I hadn’t made a profit off of them, but made the village secretary come to rebuke me. The more I thought of it, the angrier I was, thinking: You people really don’t know what is good for you. Alas, I might better give you more drips in the future. That way, I can make more money. … The more I thought like this, the darker my heart was. In consequence, I was feeble without any strength, had no mood at work, and even couldn’t eat anything.
Just when I was falling into dark, I read God’s words saying: “You should always be cautious. Though you live in a filthy place you are untainted with filth and can live alongside God, receiving His great protection. You have been chosen among all on this yellow land. Aren’t you the most blessed people? As a created being, you should of course worship God and pursue a meaningful life. If you don’t worship God and live in the filthy flesh, then aren’t you just a beast in human attire? As a human being, you should expend for God and endure all suffering. You should gladly and assuredly accept the little suffering you are subjected to today and live a meaningful life, like Job, like Peter” (“Practice (2)”). From between the lines of God’s words, I saw that God yearned for my being a person who could live by His words, who could suffer and pay a price for the sake of gaining truth, and who could live with value and purpose. Nevertheless, I didn’t understand God’s intent: As soon as I was wronged, I wanted to forsake the truth. Such a mentality as abandoning myself to despair could only bring about God’s detestation on me. I really betrayed God’s love for me. In this period of my practicing the truth, God gave comfort and happiness to my spirit and they couldn’t be bought with money no matter how much. The truth is indeed the priceless treasure! Today, it contained a worth that I suffered to gain the truth and to live a meaningful life, and that worth is far larger than that of what I suffered in my painstaking efforts to get money. Inspired by God’s words, I set a goal of pursuit for myself: No matter what happens, I will stick to being an honest person to the end. I will still take a serious and responsible attitude toward my patients—prescribing the medicine that can cure their sicknesses; and I will never abandon the principles of conducting myself, because I meet with setbacks.
My Gains
When I act according to God’s requirements, I saw God’s blessings on me. Later, the nearby villagers who had minor or serious illness were all willing to come to seek treatment from me. Besides, some patients ever cured by me advertised me to others patients, saying that the treatments I offered were effective, and the fees were lower. As a result, my small clinic was always crowded with patients, and they were at the door, outside the door, or on the desk chairs. Seeing that so many people trusted in me, I felt greatly happy in my heart and even more, I tasted the sweetness of practicing God’s words.
At the same time, someone said behind my back that I was a fool who was unable to earn easy money. Hearing these words, I wasn’t sad at all: Through believing in God and living by God’s words, not only do I benefit others, but I gain real peace and joy in the depth of my heart also. And more importantly, I can gain God’s approval—this is more important than anything.
These recommended Bible study resources will reveal to you more mysteries about the kingdom of God and show you the way to the kingdom of heaven.
|
|
|
| Total comments: 0 | |